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Are College Relationships Built to Last?

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“Are College Relationships Built to Last?”

 

 

 

by Shannon Koga

 

 

 

 

 

You know that really cheesy ending where the two heroes beat overcoming odds? Everyone thinks a fairytale happy ending is what awaits them. But not all relationships make it, and in college, finding time for that special someone can be tough.

 

 

 

But whose to blame?

 

 

 

I say love.

 

 

 

In interviewing several college students, my findings remain the same: love seems to be the best thing, but people always get in the way.

 

 

 

Shasta College student, Caitlin, says, “Too many people jump in too fast, then start questioning the relationship in general. Second, most guys are not good with communication. So when they don’t talk about what they are feeling or thinking, it then gives women an insecurity, wondering if they did something wrong and the relationship generally goes downhill…Always be honest. We are tougher than we look.”

 

 

 

Most guys, in response to their beliefs about love and relationships have short reactions.

 

 

 

“I try not to think about it,” Dave* says. “You need it to be healthy. There’s no right way to interpret [love.]”

 

 

 

“Love can be [confused for] lust. It can have several meanings to other people,” Franklin* says.

 

 

 

“There’s different types of love,” another male student, Sebastian says. “I don’t feel like our generation understands love.”

 

 

 

Or maybe it’s just men that have trouble grasping the concept. Not surprisingly, many men prove this theory wrong.

 

 

 

“You need a good foundation of trust. And love [should be] at the base. I think everyone needs love. It’s driving force behind humans,” Andrew says with a smile.

 

 

 

Another student, Cory, says, “[The most important thing a relationship needs is] communication and trust.” When asked how he felt about love, he says, “It’s out there for everybody. They have to give it time.”

 

 

 

“It’s stupid,” Maytal says, in response to this “love” thing. She’s seen love, and while it has it has good moments, it’s important to consider other parts of the puzzle. “People I’ve known have been so infatuated with love. It’s all their focus. They will drop everything for a man. They’ll drop their jobs, school—their dreams—for a man. Some of my guy friends are the same way.”

 

 

 

Fairytale endings in real life can mean white picket fences, soccer games with precut orange slices and a never ending pile of laundry. Is it best to follow your dreams, and let love follow? There may be no right way, and no secret rule. Love is all anyone seems to know.

 

 

 

“It’s awesome,” Christy says about love. “It’s the most important part.” For her and her friend Barbie, they say, “Honesty is really important.”

 

 

 

“Being up front,” Barbie says. The most important parts of relationships to them, seem to follow with the majority.

 

 

 

Franklin, a male student interviewed earlier, agrees. “Honesty. Connection.” When asked about what he wished more girls knew, he says, “Physical appearance isn’t anything. [The media sets up false expectations about love with] Movies and porn. Twilight,” he says. “Twilight.”

 

 

 

He deserves a high-five for that one, and he got one.

 

 

 

Sebastian and Dave agree. “Honesty,” Dave says.

 

 

 

“Trust.”

 

 

 

“The ugly truth is always better than a beautiful lie. Brutal honesty is one of my favorite things,” Caitlin says with a nod. “Above all, always be honest.”

 

 

 

So maybe love isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. All couples have rough spots. Women and men alike can ruin their relationships without batting an eye.

 

 

 

“To quote one of my guy friends, ‘All men are assholes, some days we just decide to be gentlemen.’” Caitlin says.

 

 

 

And for the ladies, English professor Dr. Hollingsworth has some words of wisdom: “Marriage is about more than a wedding. Don’t get married too young.”

 

 

 

But not all hope is lost. There are still some people getting it right.

 

 

 

Berenice Estrada, as pictured with her boyfriend above, says, “Being in love is like the best thing ever. And being in love with a guy who isn’t just a boyfriend but a best friend is even more fun. When you are in college and working you have to make sure you manage time wisely for your relationship. At first the transition was a little difficult. One thing I recommend is getting your homework done at school. I know in college you get so busy that you don’t try to look for love but if it comes unexpectedly, then that’s love that’s meant to be.”

 

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